As You Are
by Roxie Zephyr Jocelyn
Summary: Pairing: Shinichi x Ran. On the battlefield, in the midst of destruction, on the heels of victory against the Black Organization, Kudou Shinichi and Mouri Ran were reunited. Just as they had promised.


A/N: Set in the aftermath of the series, directly after the confrontation with the Black Organization. The fascinating characters of Detective Conan do not belong to me, but to their esteemed creators. ENJOY!

Info:

"-kun" - the Japanese suffix used for calling small boys or close male friends of the same age

Kudou Shinichi - Jimmy Kudo

Mouri Ran - Rachel Moore

Hattori Heiji - Harley Hartwell

[1] Loosely translated to, "You idiotic mystery freak!"

[2] Loosely translated to, "Idiot. Idiot, idiot, IDIOT!"

As You Are

This was the reunion that everyone had been waiting for.

Amidst their own celebrations, their own joy at being reunited with friends, lovers, at being alive, everyone - the Metropolitan Police Force, the members of FBI, the agents of the CIA, civilians who had been drawn into the conflict, close friends who had fought with them every step of the way - everyone had their eyes and ears tuned in as a heartrending cry pierced through the air.

'SHINICHI!'

The said detective looked up, freezing in his tracks as a familiar figure made her way towards him, eyes fixed unwaveringly on him. Hattori Heiji, who had been supporting his friend, slipped Shinichi's arm off his shoulder, silently fading into the background, unnoticed, as Shinichi put his hands up in a gesture of placation in the face of his childhood friend's rampage.

'O-oi, Ran, c-calm down.'

Standing in his face, her stance strong and intimidating, her eyes flashing dangerously, she grabbed Shinichi firmly by the front of his shirt, though, the detective noted, she was careful to not further aggravate his injuries or over-balance his already precarious stance.

'Calm down?' Her eyebrow twitched. 'Calm down? You expect me to calm down? After this?' She waved her hand at the destruction around them; destruction that Shinichi had been smack in the middle of only a few minutes ago.

'_Kono suiri otaku no BAKA_!' [1]

She flung herself on him, her arms holding him, firmly but gently as she buried her face into the front of his chest. Automatically, Shinichi put his arms around her, hugging her close, his chin coming to rest on top of her hair as he breathed in her shampoo, her scent, one that, in his mind, had always been linked to security and comfort. He fought the urge to squeeze her even tighter against him, for fear of hurting her and of bringing them both to the ground in a tangle of limbs, loving the feel of her slender body in his arms, relishing that he could hold her like this once again.

A small part of him also marveled at how well they fitted together, how well she fitted against him.

Then, all thoughts of romance fled, as realization washed over him like a bucket of icy cold water. Ran was trembling like a leaf, shaking so badly that he could feel himself shaking along with her.

'_Baka_._ Baka_,_ baka_,_ BAKA_!' [2]

Her heated words were muffled by fabric, and Shinichi could feel his heart sink, growing cold as he felt a dampness spread on his chest.

Always, why did he always do this to her?

Why did he always make her cry?

Desperately wanting to stop her tears, his heart breaking even as her pain overwhelmed him, he gave into his urge and clung to her, like a ship to its only anchor, threatened to be torn away by the vicious tide and stormy seas of emotional turmoil.

'I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving your side; not ever again.'

Ran stilled at his words, his solemn promise. Hearing the edge of anguish in his voice, she forced her tears to dry, blinking her eyes wetly, unwilling to cause him more suffering, to add to his physical injuries by dealing emotional blows. She had to stop doing this, stop giving in so easily to her pain just because she knew that he would be there to comfort her.

She had to become stronger because now she knew, for every comforting gesture he gave, he too had been in pain, so much pain, even as he blamed himself for her desperate unhappiness.

She had seen how much he had suffered, how much torture he had inflicted upon himself, and yet, he had stayed.

Even as he hid from his predators, he had not hidden from her.

Even as he had run from those who seek to harm him, he had not run from her.

Despite his own vulnerabilities, his own fears - he had been as much of a child as she was - he had been strong for her, had put forth a front of solid support simply because she had needed it, because he wanted to protect her, from harm, from his enemies, from the Organization, from himself.

For her, he had been the cool, calm and composed detective, fighting for justice, seeking to bring down the Organization that had wreaked havoc on so many lives, including his own even as he comforted her and gave her strength over the phone.

For her, he had been Conan-kun, the one person who had seemingly been willing to become a substitute for the absent "Shinichi-niichan", her adorable little brother who seemed to know just when to support her and when to cheer her up.

He had been there for her, in so many ways, playing so many roles. He had been perfect for her every need; he had been everything she needed.

Except the one thing she wanted most, the one person she wanted most.

Shinichi himself.

'That's not enough.'

Ran tightened her hold around Shinichi, relishing the feel of his strong, lean body in her arms. How long had it been since she had been able to hold him like this, when he was his 17-year-old self and not Conan-kun? The fragility so present in Conan-kun's small childlike body was still present in Shinichi's current one, but also in those same limbs, she could feel the strength, the hint of steel that was hidden in him as a child and had risen to the forefront as he grew into adulthood. It reassured her, this strength; it was physical proof that Shinichi was not so easily breakable, that he would not so easily be broken.

'Promise me that you'll stay with me, that you'll stay by my side,' Ran leaned in, breathing the acrid smell of smoke, the bitter smell of blood, a hint of his shampoo and another scent, a heady mixture that was so entirely Shinichi.

Not as unbelievably intelligent, precocious and adorable child, Edogawa Conan.

Not as the infallible famous high school detective, Kudou Shinichi.

But, as her childhood friend, the young boy who had been awkward as a teenager, all gangly limbs and clumsiness, and was still as awkward when it came to girls and romance - especially, if Sonoko's teasing was anything to go by, when it came to Ran herself - his cool composure, even when confronting the most terrifying of criminals, blown away by the wind like a crumbling house of cards.

_The way he had looked at her, terrified that she would hate him for keeping such weighty secrets._

As one of her most trusted friends, the young man who whose sacrificial love for her would sometimes, most of the time, backfire on him, which gave her the chance, in turn, to prove to him that she loved him with all her heart and cherished him with all her soul. All those times when he got hurt protecting her; she would bandage his wounds, scold him for being reckless, remind him that she had the same desires as him, that she too wanted him whole and well. The times when he would fall sick, confined to his bed, alone, because of a cold, because he had lent her his only umbrella, she would visit him, most of the time staying with him, to nurse him back to health and simply be there for him the way he had been there for her.

_The way he had stayed, despite his own anguish, his own loneliness, the guilt of his decision, the desperation of his situation, the unfailing love her had for her and how it killed him inside every time he knew how much his choice had cost her; so close yet so far, separated by nothing, but the invisible yet ever present veil of death, not his own, but hers._

As the young man she had fallen in love with, the same one she did not hesitate to bicker with when they had their differences, secure in the knowledge that he loved her and accepted her, faults and all, the way she accepted him, imperfections and all. The same young man whose stubborness mirrored her own, and yet, he would drop everything the moment he knew she was in trouble, the way he could trust that she would immediately go to him if he needed her. However, it did not make their fights any less terrifying, more so in fact because they loved each other and could not bear to lose the trust of the person they loved, craving forgiveness, hoping against all hopes that they were forgiven even as they were willing, without ill-feeling and resentment, to forgive.

_The way he had forgiven her for the hurt and guilt she caused him, the way he hoped that she would forgive him for the hurt and fear he caused her._

Even now, Ran could still see the shadows that lurked in Shinichi's eyes, the vulnerability, the doubts, and that tiny glimmering light of hope. She raised a hand to tenderly carress his cheek, fingers gentle as they traveled over a bruised cheekbone, skittering away from the crusted edge of a fresh cut, memorizing the differences, re-familiarizing herself with features she once knew as well as her own. As long as he still wanted her by his side, as long as he still wanted to be by her side, Ran knew that this was the only path she could choose, the only answer she could give.

As long as it was she who held the scissors, she vowed she would never, ever cut the red thread that tied them both.

'That's not enough because I don't just want you to stay by my side. I want you. Not Conan-kun. Not the famous high school detective. I want you, Shinichi, just you.'

The fears and the vulnerabilities, along with the courage and strength. The want to be protected and the hesitancy that came from doubt, along with the confidence and composure, and the security he gave by being the sword and shield of justice, for the voiceless, for the ones he loved. That though he had an unerring sense for the truth, he was still human, and humans lied. And, despite his brilliance and his amazing knack for rational deductions, like every other person, he too made mistakes.

Mistakes that she would always forgive him for, because she knew him, she knew the type of person he was, and she trusted him, still trusted him, with every fibre of her being.

He did not have to be perfect with her, perfect for her. She wanted him, she loved him, faults and all.

Exactly as he was.

With her every word, Shinichi's eyes had grown steadily wider, stunned. The glimmer in the blue depths seemed to light him up from within, and Ran wanted desperately, so desperately, to erase the lingering shadows; Shinichi had suffered enough. She wanted him to be happy.

And, if she was his reason for happiness, the way he was her reason for joy, she would promise him everything she had in her to give him. The way she had claimed him as hers, she wanted him to know, so badly, that he had that same claim over her, and it had been his from the very begining, and nothing, not the fiasco with the Black Organization, not the threat of death, not even death itself, had changed that, would change that.

'In return, I promise you that I will stay by your side. I'm still angry that you kept such a huge secret from me, but it does not mean that I stopped loving you or even that I love you any less; you are still my most important person, and I want you to be happy. I want to stay with you as much as I want you to stay with me.'

Realization dawned on Ran, the awareness of how strongly she was coming on to Shinichi with her feelings washing over her like a tidal wave. She could feel her blood rise to her face, even her ears felt hot. Suddenly, she felt shy, self-conscious. To so bluntly state the claims of their relationship...

'T-That is if y-you don't mind me p-promising that,' she stammered, averting her eyes, her hands grasping on to the front of his shirt.

Looking down at the top of her head, Shinichi chuckled, his heart light, dancing in fact, from Ran's confession. Returning to her side, and staying with her, that had been a desperate hope he had clung to, a light at the end of a seemingly neverending tunnel, the final escape in a suffocating labyrinth. How many times had he thought of the possibility that she would hate him for his choices, the way he sometimes hated himself, despite his best intentions, only to push that possibility out of his mind because what then would he have to fight for? He had been prepared to give his life for justice, for the lives lost in their battle with the Organization, the victims they had cruelly and mercilessly cut down, but to live, to fight tooth and nail to survive, he had done it for her.

To return to her side, just as he had promised.

He had not even had the courage to entertain the thought that she might no longer want him, that he might no longer have a place to return to. Despite knowing her pain, despite drying her tears as Conan, he had selfishly held on to the faint hope that she would be strong enough to wait for him, despite the seemingly unending loneliness, and that, even after all that had happened, she would still want him.

As long as she wanted him, as long as she still loved him, he had been willing to give her everything in him to give.

To know that his hopes had been answered, that had been a reward in itself that had sent Shinichi's mind spinning with dazed joy. To know that, not only had she wanted to have him by side, but that she was also willing to stand by his, despite all that he could and could not give, that she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her, that had been a treasure so unexpected that it had healed the wounds in Shinichi's soul inflicted by his time as Conan and the whole fiasco with the Black Organization, wounds he had not even known he had.

To know that she too craved his forgiveness the way he craved her forgiveness.

To know that she wanted to protect him the way he had tried so hard to protect her.

To know that, just as she had been the place he wanted to return to, the one he wanted to be with, he had been the destination she wanted to travel to, the one she wanted to be with.

To know that she wanted him, not her adopted little brother, not the invulnerable detective, but him, just him, as badly as he wanted her.

To know that she wanted him to stake his claim on her the way she had claimed him as hers.

To know that she had given herself to him, that she wanted to belong to him, the way he had always belonged to her.

Despite the treacherous lies.

Despite the threat of death.

Despite it all.

To know that she wanted to be with him as much as she wanted him to be with her.

How could Shinichi refuse what she had offered?

Tilting her chin up gently, looking into her eyes, Shinichi grabbed one of Ran's hand and placed it on his heart. He wondered if she could feel its pounding, its erratic beating, how it danced from the nervousness, the euphoria that bubbled within him, a tumultous mixture of emotions that still sent him reeling.

'Mind? I'm definitely taking you up on that promise.'

Ran gasped, crimson streaks painting her cheeks an even brighter red as she saw how the shadows had all but vanished in the light of overwhelming joy, passion, and love, so much love, for her shining in intense blue depths. The hand that had gently, but firmly, tilted her chin now cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing tender circles.

'You're mine, Mouri Ran, just as I am yours. And, I'm never letting you go again.'

Shinichi was close, so close. Ran could feel the barest brushing of their noses, the warmth of his breath on her lips.

'I love you.'

And, her mind blanked, her own thundering heart stuttering to a sudden halt.

Shinichi was kissing her.

Her senses flared to life at the realization, every part of her, every nerve in her body, every cell in his blood, tuning in to the young man she could now officially call her boyfriend. Shinichi's presence overwhelmed her; she could feel sparks of electricity dance across her skin from their close proximity, every pore sensitized to even his most fleeting touch. His hand was still holding on to hers, clutching it desperately even as both hands were crushed between their bodies. Ran answered him, her hand moving to intertwine her fingers with his, her hold on him just as desperate, even as she moved her free hand to cradle the back of his neck. She could feel his hand fall away from her cheek, his fingers splaying across the small of her back as he held her even closer. Her eyes fluttered close.

Shinichi was kissing her, and with just as much fervor, Ran kissed him back.

Her first kiss wasn't anything like she had imagined it to be. As a young girl, even as the young woman she was now, she had dreamed of fairytale endings, perfect happy-ever-afters, all wrapped in the bows and ribbons of every romantic notion a girl could dream of.

However, there were no fireworks in the background. Instead, acrid smoke still arose from crumbling buildings, mini explosions still shook the ground from the reactions of a multitude of things to the remnants of the bomb blasts.

Ran wasn't dressed in the frills of a princess, not even in her best dress; her face dusted with ash, grime and smeared with blood rather than fancy makeup which highlighted her features to make her look beautiful.

Shinichi wasn't dressed in anything that looked remotely princely, not even in his best suit or his usual casual style. His shirt was torn, a sleeve lost somewhere in the rubble, his clothes stained with so much grime and blood, his blood, that it was beyond rescue.

They were not in a fancy restaurant or even in any of their precious places that held their memories, though, Ran thought, this had most definitely become another place to be added into their growing collection of places they shared. Instead, if Ran had opened her eyes and taken a good look around, she would have seen rubble, police cars, ambulances and fire engines, close friends and law enforcement, injured, but alive. Rather than music, Ran could hear the wailing of sirens, signals of emergency and distress.

Even as they familiarized themselves with each other, their noses bumped occasionally, and Ran, who had completely forgotten how to breathe, could feel her lungs bursting with need. She felt a slight prick of pain where her chapped lips brushed against Shinichi's dried ones, and she could taste a hint iron from his split lip as his cut reopened.

Ran had always worried herself about technique, about being a good kisser, but now, in Shinichi's arms, the only place she wanted to be, every conscious thought had fled, leaving only passion in its wake. Passion. Desire. Want. Need. Connection. And, love. Overwhelming love.

Her first kiss was nothing like she ever imagined, but to Ran, this was so much better.

It was real.

Shinichi was alive, he was here with her, and this, this was real.

At the corner of her mind, she was vaguely aware of cheers and cat-calls as well as a particularly smug voice yelling something in Kansai-ben courtesy of a certain high school Detective of the West, but Ran only shrugged them off, her focus zeroing in on her detective. Judging from the way Shinichi had tightened his hold on her, she knew that he too felt the same way.

After this, she had no doubt that their usual sense of propriety would reassert itself, and they would be embarrassed at their very public display of very intimate affection. Highly likely, it would be a while before they were ever this forward in public again, especially in front of their friends and colleagues.

But for now, all she could feel was her own euphoria, her own triumph, at being able to do this, to share this moment with the one she loved.

They no longer had to run.

They no longer had to hide.

And, Ran wanted to show the world that they were in this together.

As promised, she had waited for him.

And, as promised, Shinichi had come back to her.

The two childhood friends came up for air, both breathing heavily, sharing the same breath, as Shinichi leaned his forehead against Ran's. Both her hands came up to cup his face, lovingly caressing his handsome features, as she looked straight into his eyes.

'I love you too, Shinichi.'

_I want you as you, exactly the way that you are._

Inwardly, her heart leaped at how his face just lit up at her words, so much like the boy she knew, before their separation, who took innocent joy at the things he loved, like soccer and Sherlock Holmes, but there was something else, something deeper, an emotion, Ran was beginning to realize, that she knew so well because it was something he had always directed at her.

This time, it was her who initiated it as they leaned in for their second kiss, one of many more they would share.

Their time for separation was over; from now on, everything that they face, they would face together.

No more running. No more hiding.

The odds had been against them, might still be against them.

But, they would show the world that they could beat it.

Together.


End file.
